While attempting to conjure up reasons why you should come and see Sex With No Hands this Saturday Night at Cafe Du Nord (other than the fact that it’s going to be awesome!), Don ultimately decided that whichever means of convincing you he could possibly adopt would still seem far inferior in comparison to the myriad of bumper stickers he has seen over the years.  Therefore, he decided to leave the persuading to American motorists and their whimsical bumper stickers:

“I PLAY THE ACCORDION TO SILENCE THE VOICES IN MY HEAD”

“PLAY AN ACCORDION, GO TO JAIL”

“I’M THE ACCORDION PLAYER YOUR MOTHERS WARNED YOU ABOUT”

“MY OTHER CAR IS AN ACCORDION”

“I ACCELERATE FOR ACCORDION PLAYERS”

“ACCORDIONIST CAGE FIGHTER ON BOARD”

“MY WIFE ASKED ME TO PICK EITHER HER OR ACCORDION; I SURE DO MISS HER”

“A GENTLEMEN IS A MAN WHO CAN PLAY THE ACCORDION BUT DOESN’T”

“ACCORDION SAVED MY LIFE ONCE”

“ACCORDION WAS THE SECOND GUNMAN ON THE GRASSY GNOLL”

“TO DANCE IS HUMAN, BUT TO POLKA IS DIVINE”

“BEING A GOOD ACCORDION PLAYER IS 3% TALENT, 97% NOT BEING DISTRACTED BY THE INTERNET”

“ACCORDION PLAYERS DO IT WITH OOMPA”

“YOU WOULD DRINK TOO IF YOU PLAYED THE ACCORDION”

So don’t trust us, trust America. 

March 21st 2009. Doors 8pm. Show 9pm. Tix $10. Buy your tickets now so you don’t get turned away at the door!
Cafe Du Nord. 2174 Market Street, San Francisco (map).

Sex With No Hands at 11pm

The Minks at 10pm (http://www.myspace.com/theminks)
- an all-female cover band of The Kinks! 

Blue Rabbit at 9pm (http://www.myspace.com/bluerabbitmusic)
- they are a near-all-female art rock band with some very interesting instrumentation including a cello and an Irish harp.  They describe themselves as “The Mars Volta meets Gregorian Chant”.  This is inaccurate but an amusing thought nonetheless.  Also this is not actually how they describe themselves.